Advice of the class of 2016

I'm not really good at this entire advice thing but what i do know might actually be helpful...
If you have Mr. Roehl for science, well good luck. Mr. Roehl is a fun teacher but he is strict on your work. Sometimes he just randomly walks past you and starts kicking your chair or goes behind you when you're not looking and imitate whacking your had with a ruler, which is really quite funny. I have 2 warnings when coming into his class, have quality work and turning it in on time, also when you bring food, you have to give him some. Wow I really can't count right, I guess those are 3 pieces of advice.

Mrs. Reagles is also a fun teacher to have, but beware for she is haunted by a spirit named June... Mrs. Reagles is the type of teacher that talks a lot and tells many interesting stories. She just gets of track some times. You really have to turn you work in time, I would know. She's an awesome teacher to have just watch out for mad tae kwon do skills.

You really have to careful with the dress code though...

well that's pretty much all the good advice I know how to give because you might have the same teachers next year. Just be careful but have fun.

...

I wear black because it blends well with my soul.

 

Sometimes when I open my eyes in the morning I can't help but wonder, is it really such a great thing to be alive? 

My finger's on the trigger and you're in my way.

Go ahead, kiss her. I hope she bites your lip and you choke on the blood.

They say when you get knocked down get back up. But what if you have been knocked down so much you’re tired of getting up?

 I don't lie but I never tell the truth.

Didn't you hear, heaven didn't want me and hell was afraid I'd take over... 

 

There is always some form of truth in deception…

The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those which choose to move silently among us.

Hate me for I am a sinner, but hate yourself first.

Your worst nightmares are my sickest desires.

We're all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it.

Sometime the things we dream about the most, are the things our heart fears most.

You can say you know how I feel from just looking to my face, but I guess everything I am, I hide on the inside.

Rip out my heart; put it out of its misery. It deserved better than I gave it.

In the darkness you don’t see what stares back at you…

 I don’t stay in the darkness so that people can’t find me, but to see who’s brave enough to look.

Darkness never really goes away, not once you've seen it.

I have a scary question: Is it me or my reflection? Now here's a scarier one: Is there even a difference anymore?

My tears are dry, my smile is fake, what more do you want?

 

A painted black box behind the books in a shelf,
Hides all my secrets, only known to myself.
The darkest poetry written in my most vulnerable hour,
Anyone who holds it and reads will hold the power.

Drained blood and dirty sheets,
I've put my heart in the box, while it still beats.
Scars hidden and put inside the box,
Hidden behind books, hidden behind locks.

No one knows what the box hold,
Secrets never revealed, words never told.
The darkest poems, with the biggest truth,
Complete honesty about my past and my youth.

Lies told to keep the box secrets hidden from the world,
To never let them see what's inside this broken little girl.
There are times I bring it out, just to give it a peek,
To see what I've been through, find my strength when I am weak.

To see that what I've seen has made me who I am today,
The reason I hardly trust, rarely lie and never pray.
To see that what doesn't kill me can only make me strong,
To see that I can not leave this world until I find the place that I belong.

Yet the world needs to know that I didn't put up an act,
They need to understand the way I thought and the way I react.
They need to know what I feel, to understand me,
Who I was, who I am, who I want to be.

I can't fight death on my own anymore,
The pain has gotten to me, shaken my core.
I desperately need someone to understand for real,
The way I think, the way I act, the way I feel.

They don't call me mysterious for nothing you know,
There's an ocean of poetry in the box I've never dared to show.
So, last chance darling, I'm here for you to save,
Although I fear, I'm doomed forever, I'll take the black box to my grave.

Have you ever felt the touch of fear
On nights so all alone
Sitting tensely in a spot
Waiting for some ghastly moan
To occur but silence coats the room
You feel like somethings waiting
Just waiting in the gloom

As I was walking down a street
Through the broken slums
To get somewhere a bit faster
I began to hear some ugly hums
Coming from a crumbled home
Beat down by time's fist
Where something horrific roams

I didn't want to venture there
But the sounds drew me in
Where I saw something so evil
Seeing it must be a sin
Its face was a jumble of freakish teeth
With a black tongue that slivered
Over two blank white eyes beneath

Then shrieks escaped its repulsive maw
That sounded like some unholy music score
Of tortured screams of people
That it had eaten before
Then the white eyes became alive
And somehow forced me to stare
At them, which made my stomach dive

In those eyes I saw unbearable things
Of men being ripped apart
Of drinking of blood and eating of gore
And that was just the start
Then I was thrown into its jaws
By some unknown force
That felt like gnarled claws

After much pain and ripping sounds
I was cast into the cold
Where I live breathing my last
A lone and forgotten mold
I think I know what gave me fright
What killed and tortured I
I think that fear itself murdered me tonight

Now on nights all so alone
Void of anybody but you
You hear a sound and become afraid
Don't deny it, it could be true
It could be fear lurking around
Waiting for you to dismiss it
So it then can pounce without a sound

Author's note: if you may recognize part of this piece, its because i took the beginning of Clare's letter that she never finished (Degrassi) and adding my own too it. I didn't come up with the beginning so i put my disclaimer to it, i don't own it just the other parts.

'We need to talk' is a line that every kid dreads, but you know what's worse -- waiting for it. Every minute of every hour of every day. Because I know it's coming -- the reason you're fighting all the time. And I know I won't like the answer, but whatever you tell me can't be worse than the waiting. So, please, don't make me wait any longer.. The tension and the suspense is suffocating me, I can't take it. I'm not the little girl you always say I am anymore. I've grown up and I notice things. The fights and yelling matches, the coldness and tension. Just tell me, it might not be good news, but any is better than none. I see how you guys never talk any more but just argue, saying how you have to go back to work every day. It's like you want to get out of the house just so you don't have to deal with anything. It's just that sometimes it's so bad I just want to run away from everything. Every minute you're home you guys argue, not one moment of peace. If there is a quiet moment at home it's because only one of you is home or you are just too mad to speak to each other. It feels like a divorce waiting to happen. So what's going on, really? Are you actually going to talk to me or plan on keeping me waiting and in the dark?

Sad story :(

Jenny was so happy
about the house they had found.
For once in her life
’twas on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things
with such great ease.
As she watched her new
curtains blow in the breeze.
How wonderful it was
to have her own room.
School would be starting,
she’d have friends over soon.
There’d be sleep-overs, and parties;
she was so happy
It’s just the way she wanted
her life to be.
On the first day of school,
everything went great.
She made new friends
and even got a date!
She thought, “I want to be popular
and I’m going to be,
Because I just got a date
with the star of the team!”
To be known in this school
you had to have a clout,
And dating this guy
would sure help her out.
There was only one problem
stopping her fate.
Her parents had said
she was too young to date.
“Well, I just won’t tell them
the entire truth.
They won’t know the difference;
what’s there to lose?”
Jenny asked to stay
with her friends that night.
Her parents frowned
but said, “All right.”
Excited, she got ready
for the big event
But as she rushed around
like she had no sense,
She began to feel guilty
about all the lies,
But what’s a pizza, a party,
and a moonlight ride?
Well the pizza was good,
and the party was great,
But the moonlight ride would
have to wait.
For Jeff was half drunk
by this time.
But he kissed her and said
that he was just fine.
Then the room filled with smoke
and Jeff took a puff.
Jenny couldn’t believe
he was smoking that stuff.
Now Jeff was ready
to ride to the point
But only after
he’d smoked another joint.
They jumped in the car
for the moonlight ride,
Not thinking that he
was too drunk to drive.
They finally made it
to the point at last,
And Jeff started trying
to make a pass.
A pass is not
what Jenny wanted at all
(and by a pass,
I dont mean playing football).
“Perhaps my parents were right….
maybe I am too young.
Boy, how could I ever,
ever be so dumb.”
With all of her might,
she pushed Jeff away:
“Please take me home,
I dont want to stay.”
Jeff cranked up the engine
and floored the gas.
In a matter of seconds
they were going too fast.
As Jeff drove on in a fit
of wild anger,
Jenny knew that her life
was in danger.
She begged and pleaded
for him to slow down,
But he just got faster
as they neared the town.
“Just let me get home!
I’ll confess that I lied.
I really went out
for a moonlight ride.”
Then all of a sudden,
she saw a big flash.
“Oh God, Please help us!
We’re going to crash!”
She doesn’t remember
the force of impact.
Just that everything
all of a sudden went black.
She felt someone remove her
from the twisted rubble,
And heard, “Call an ambulance!
These kids are in trouble!”
Voices she heard…
a few words at best.
But she knew there were two cars
involved in the wreck.
Then wondered to herself
if Jeff was all right,
And if the people
in the other car were alive.
She awoke in the hospital
to faces so sad.
“You’ve been in a wreck
and it looks pretty bad.”
These voices echoed
inside her head,
As they gently told her
that Jeff was dead.
They said “Jenny,
we’ve done all we can do.
But it looks as if
we’ll lose you too.”
“But the people
in the other car!?” Jenny cried.
“We’re sorry, Jenny,
they also died.”
Jenny prayed, “God,
forgive me for what I’ve done
I only wanted
to have just one night of fun.”
“Tell those people’s family,
I’ve made their lives dim,
And wish I could return
their families to them.”
“Tell Mom and Dad
I’m sorry I lied,
And that it’s my fault
so many have died.
Oh, nurse, won’t you please
tell them that for me?”
The nurse just stood there,
she never agreed.
But took Jenny’s hand
with tears in her eyes
And a few moments later
Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse,
“Why didn’t you do your best
To bid that girl
her one last request?”
She looked at the man
with eyes oh so sad.
“Because the people in the other car
were her mom and dad.”
This story is sad
and unpleasant but True,
So young people take heed,
it could have been you.

Quotes about yourself ..... :P

 To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.  ~e.e. Cummings


All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was.  I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.  I was naïve.  I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.  It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with:  that I am nobody but myself.  ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal" 
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.  ~Judy Garland

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  ~e.e. cummings 

 "Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.  ~Tom Masson

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.  ~Shirley MacLaine

Never be bullied into silence.  Never allow yourself to be made a victim.  Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.  ~Harvey Fierstein
  
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.  ~Sally Field


Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. 

A library memory

We went to the library one day, Kayla Hannah, and me. Once inside went to sit down to work on some stuff, I sat down next to Hannah and Kayla sat by herself. Ten minutes later, one of the bane's of my existence came. I hear my name being called as a stared daggers at him. Its Kayla, asking for help on the math homework. So I get up, to have him sit in my spot next to Hannah. She covers her nose slightly. I thought in my head, does he smell bad? After helping Kayla, I tell him to move, so he does and I sit back down in my spot. I was immediately engulfed in his overdose of his cologne, its licking at my skin, surrounding my senses.  It creeps down my throat, I gag and Hannah looks at me. She smiles knowing what I'm thinking and gags with me. A noise invades my ears, apparently its Kayla laughing.

(If you know who im talking about feel free to use his name in your comments. if not then you will eventually figure it out. And if you agree that he is a butt than you are a smart cookie.)

Personification poem

I am lost in the dark,
The darkness seemed to be everywhere,
The darkness was roaring,
And I was scared

The trees were now cackling,
I called and called,
But no one came,
And I was scared

The cunning wind is now thirsty,
I can smell the laughing of a skunk,
There is now tears dripping down my face,
And I was scared

I can nearly see the merciless door,
The hungry floor is creaking,
I hoped I was near the end,
And I was scared

Petrified

Shadows in the dark
Keep me up awake
So I sleep with the light on
Lock the door behind you
Bolt the windows tight
Silence can be deadly
Especially at night
You scare me half to death
Bolting down the stairs
I'm so scared
But no one even cares
Noises stir at night
I jump right out of bed
Running down the stairs
Everyone is dead
I wake up from this nightmare
Drenched in cold sweat
Fearing you and everything
Is my one and only regret

What does a person have to do around here to trust people. Its like your whole life and secrets are put in a book that everyone can read. You think you know people but you don't, they'll end up spilling things to people that you don't want. Next thing you know every one knows. So why can't people just be trustworthy? Well enough to understand to keep those secrets locked up. To tie the box shut. To take it to the grave. Why?

Sooooo.... You Wanna Know Me?

For me, fear is walking in front of a group of people, just to be worried about how they think you look.

For me, acting rude and obnoxious in class is normal, no matter how weird you think I am.

For me, having bizarre dreams is my escape from the real world.

For me, breaking an awkward silence by yelling “FRENCH FRIES!” is the best.

For me, hiding my true feelings with a stupid or sarcastic remark, and a good laugh, is natural.

For me, making people laugh makes me feel that speck of hope that I am good for something.

For me, hilarity is me doing a rain dance in PE in hope of canceling the mile, and it raining two minutes later.

For me, loyalty is my best friend in jail, and me right next to them sayin “DAMN!”

For me, bonding time is my best friend in jail, and me in the cell next to them saying “THAT WAS AWESOME LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”

For me, friendship is me beating up a random girl...because she told my friend her shoes were ugly.

For me, being myself is my friend getting rejected, and me calling up the guy and whispering “7 days...”

For me, fun is sending random people in class visual death threats during a lecture, just for the laugh.

And at the end of the day, it will all be okay Because I’ll still smile for someone, and I’ll still laugh for something, and I’ll still live on.

Life and Lies

I numbly put on the black dress. Next comes the heels. I don't feel anything. I can't. My mother is dead. My beloved Mama. Dad is currently on his third bottle of Jack Daniels. The man is lost. Through all of these years him and Mama have stayed deeply in love. And her death has destroyed him. He doesn't even have the strength to attend the funeral. Good Lord. How the heck am I going to do this. Going to the funeral all by myself. But then again, Drake might go. But you can never know with my brother. He's not exactly the image of responsible. More like a wild mustang. Doing anything he wants. Never stopping to settle down anywhere. I think he believes he was born to piss off the world. And that in itself could be a fact. Who knows. He already has a juvenile record that is like 6 pages long and is headed for just a regular criminal record.He is 19 years old. Jeez. The years have currently flew by. I can remember it like yesterday. It was a week before Christmas. Mama and I were making cookies for the annual Christmas Dinner with the family. I was 6 and Drake was 9 He was standing next to me trying with all his might to convince me that Santa Clause was fake and that he had been dead for quite some time. (his words not mine) All I could think was " Mama would never lie to me. She loves me too much." But in the end, I found out that Mama did lie to me. And a about a hell of a lot more than Santa clause. But basically my whole life. 

Journal...

Soooo yeah a 'person' ( not telling u who) suggested i should make a journal to 'express myself'. Yeah whatever, so that's what i'm doing right now. Um i really don't know how to do this but whatever.

Okay well right now my dad came to visit from Southwest Asia. He's getting me A new electric guitar. I always wanted one, it's not like i don't have one it's just i have an acoustic.


Jan/7/11

Its another day..... and yesterday was kinda weird and funny. what happen was the freshmen orientation or wutever its called, my dad called out to some random guy. Now i knew it must have been an old friend from when he went to skool here. Turns out the guy my dad was or is friends with was Maija's dad! Maija and I were saying it was kinda creepy. It was funny too. Such a small world........

Also in my weird life, i am quite hyper (wait im always hyper anyways) and excited for the ski trip on Monday. SO yea im going to be snowboarding...

umm yea, well Bye, no, peace, no, i kno

Without me it's just aweso...
c u....